Updates

I officially fail in keeping up with this blog. So, for anyone still following a year later, I'm going to give you some "quick" updates.

A) Correction to my mthfr mutation: I am homozygous for a1298c mutation (two a mutations) and NOT hetero, so it is one of the less risky forms of the mutation. Hooray. All it means for me is that I need extra folic acid because I absorb it differently.

B) We went and saw the maternal fetal specialist at the U in Salt Lake. He basically told us that there were only 4 or 5 big reasons a couple would never be able to have a baby and we didn't have any of those so he was optimistic that we would be able to have a healthy baby eventually. He ordered a couple more tests and sent us on our way saying to keep trying and once we were pregnant we could come see him again.

One year later... (just about)

Not pregnant. Still. 

The tests we took that he ordered came back with no bad results. I did a sonohysterogram (water ultrasound: they shoot your uterus full of water so they can check on the shape, check out your eggs, etc.) and the technician said I had lots of beautiful eggs and no other real problems (a couple small fibroids which are super common and a tilted uterus (also common and not a problem). And we've just been waiting. And waiting. And getting super frustrated and feeling very stuck.

In February I had one of my friends refer me to the fertility clinic. She has one son, but they haven't been able to conceive again and he's almost four? I didn't really consider it then because all of my doctors have told me that since I've been pregnant FOUR times, I did not have a fertility issue (even though it's taken us almost a year each time (except the last was 5 months and I really believe it was due to the acupuncture treatments I was having). I thought it was weird, but when your doctors tell you that over and over you tend to believe them.

Finally fed up with the whole situation, I decided that it couldn't hurt and set up an appointment at the fertility clinic. I REALLY wish I would have gone sooner, but the past is the past.
WOW. Dr. Foulk at the Utah Fertility Clinic is amazing. The end. We get into the appointment (I actually wasn't expecting much at this point, I just wanted another opinion) and he takes one look at our history and tells us that if we aren't pregnant within 4 months (6 at the very most) something is not working right. That we were having two different problems, getting pregnant and staying pregnant and we were going to address both. First he said to have a baby it takes 3 things: an egg, sperm and an uterus. So if we're not getting pregnant there is a problem with one or more of those things. So we started on the journey once again. It was actually the perfect day in my cycle to start the testing so we did blood work and an ultrasound that same day. Blood work from both me and Nate to test our karyotypes (make sure our genes are matching up correctly), and more from me to test hormone levels and something else, I can't remember.

The ultrasound showed that I had a fibroid that may be blocking off one of my tubes (so that could possibly explain why it's taking us twice as long to get pregnant as it should because when you ovulate you alternate sides and if one is blocked...). Why no one else has caught that I do not know. He answered all of our questions and didn't make me feel stupid at all. In fact he was on our side more than I've ever seen a physician be: We were human beings going through a very tough experience, and not just a science project without emotions. For example, I've always thought I had endometriosis, but the last doctor I asked told me that since my period is only incredibly painful for a day or two and not the entire time there was no way it could be endo. Dr. Foulk said that many women have no symptoms at all and still have it and it can affect their fertility (and me having a tilted uterus is a possible sign of endo too). He also agreed with my ob that put me on the heparin shots and progesterone (the MF specialist said that I didn't need to do either of those things) because if there were the slightest chance it could help it was worth the almost non-existent risk of not doing it (and it could help with the endo, although he's checking my hormones to make sure it would actually help me). And when he was explaining what he wanted to do he also explained the WHY, which most doctors won't do either. So our first appointment was kind of a whirlwind. I also got started on a special formula of folic acid that I can absorb (folgard), and was given a calendar of all these things to take and do over a two week period, and certain days I had to be back for testing, etc. He started me on Clomid (it helps your follicles develop) too.

After about two weeks we went back in to take another test: this one they shoot dye up your uterus and use an xray to see if your tubes are blocked. One of mine was great, and the other one had a bit of blockage that he actually shot out with the dye (it hurt like HELL, holy crap that was one of the worst cramping experiences I've had (besides a miscarriage), I went home and tossed my cookies... not fun). But he said I passed with "flying colors" lol. So that was one possibility down (if they had been blocked we would have to do in vitro).
The next day? We came back to do another ultrasound to see if any of my "follicles" were ready to go. One was perfect! They also check to make sure you don't have multiple follicles ready (so your risk of multiples goes down, lol). So I went home and gave myself a shot of hcg? to make me ovulate. Then you have very specific times to get busy (12 hours after the shot, and 12 hours after that). They also checked my cervical mucus to make sure it was a good consistency, etc, to let the little swimmers get where they needed to go. Our bodies are SO cool. I hope this isn't tmi for y'all.

So now we wait. We're waiting on the blood work results, and we can take a blood prego test on the 12th. So wish us luck!

Besides the baby drama, not much is new. We both are staying insanely busy... way too busy.
Quick updates:
Nate's studio got robbed on Christmas and they literally took everything. Even all his music he's ever written (which is irreplaceable). Luckily we had a lot of family and friends donate to get him on his feet again (we are so incredibly grateful to them) and he's to the point he has most everything at least running again even if it will probably be years before he has everything (except his music) back. They never caught the thieves.
But now he's getting tons of work (tv shows and commercials, radio and web ads, etc.) and starting a pops orchestra among many other projects.

I'm still managing Claire's. It's crazy. And doing my photography which is picking up like mad. :) I don't really have time for everything...  Hopefully I can just do photography soon. I really need a new camera too, this one is dying. Poor guy.  I also have 3 sisters getting married within a month of each other. Yikes! It is definitely busy.

We celebrated our 6 year anniversary a few days ago, I am so blessed to be married to my awesome husband! Hopefully our kidlets will be coming soon so we can start the next crazy step of our journey together...

Well.... Some good news and bad news. I found out I was pregnant on August 16th (Ironically the day I lost my 1st baby). We went in to the dr a couple days later. He looked at my blood work again (they had said it had all turned out normal btw). He found a double mutation on one of my genes, it's called mthfr, basically it means that I am prone to blood clotting (specifically it can affect pregnancy, not letting nutrients get to the baby, etc.) and that it can also mean I don't absorb folic acid as well as most people. So we decided to start on heparin (a blood thinner shot I got to give to myself 2x per day in my belly. Yes, it sucked pretty bad at first, but I got used to it after awhile. It did bruise my belly which wasn't fun), extra folic acid, as well as Progesterone (since I lose the babies right before 12 weeks we figured that progesterone was most likely the culprit.) The shots and folic acid were "just in case" since the mutations I have were the "good" mutations and most likely wouldn't cause me problems. But I was super excited that they finally found something! And that we were doing all this stuff to fix it.
We had an ultrasound when we were 9 weeks... baby was healthy and beautiful, strong heart, we were doing good.
I lost the baby on September 27th just before 11 weeks. Still trying to deal with it.
But, good news. I had a refferal from an ob in Chicago (my cousin works for him) for a specialist in sl, and then my dr. reffered me to the same specialist... so I figure that's a good sign.
I just hope we can find some answers, etc. I want my baby! I don't think I can go through this again. I guess it's good we can get pregnant... but I almost think it would be easier if we couldn't. Or maybe if I lost them sooner. And I know it could be worse, but that doesn't make me feel better either. I try so hard not to get excited, but with everything we were doing, and the ultrasound, and how far I was getting... I couldn't help but hope and get excited.
Specialist appt. on  the 27th. I'll keep you updated.

Moving Forward

So the last couple months have flown by. They've been running tests: they drew 16! vials of blood to run them (all at the same time mind you. And I was fasting. My arm was numb when they were done, but at least I didn't faint/throw up as I'm known for doing, lol).

My thyroid looks good, and I haven't heard back on the rest yet. I can tell you how grateful I am I have insurance though. The tests total cost $4000 and it looks like I will only have to pay about $125. :) It probably is just a progesterone definciency, but they want to make sure, and it will be good to know too. They're basically looking for a chromosome disorder or if I have some kind of blood clotting disorder, since I lose the babies around the same time right before the placenta takes over.

Besides that I'm trying to keep myself blissfully busy and distracted which really does help. I went back to work after a week, (it was too quiet and lonely at home and I kept watching movies like "Up" and "Star Trek" that did not help. I would call Nate bawling and he was like, "Why are you watching that!!?". lol, I just didn't think about it.) and it definitely keeps me busy. Drugs helped a lot right at the first, and surprisingly I didn't need them for very long, I was fine after about a week. I think why I had such a hard time coming back last year was because I only had about 2-3 days off and had to be back at work because my manager had a "breakdown" herself and someone had to run the store. Having a bit more time off was immensly helpful. I'm kinda rambling... oops.

I'm also finally getting somewhere with my photography. I did another wedding last month and I have a few family shoots booked. I even have a facebook business page now (Pearl Photography). Check out my blog if you haven't too! (pearlphotography.blogspot.com). Now I need a real website and some smoking hot business cards. Any other suggestions are appreciated. ;) Soon I will have the rest of the stuff on my photo "wishlist" which will be nice. My flash is really starting to bite the dust, and my poor tripod really doesn't do it's job very well.

Also I went to UVU's ballroom concert a couple weeks ago and about cried I miss dancing so much! I keep thinking, "Why in the world did I stop? I could be done by now!" I know why, I wanted kids more, but guess what, I still don't have kids, and I'm still not dancing... SO I think I will do summer team in the mornings for kicks and because I miss performing. I've been doing belly dance as well, which is a lot of fun, but ballroom is my first and true love ;) I'm so excited too because one day I will do these fantastic dance shoots, like I've always wanted to. Oh time, why can I only do so much with you??

And I'm doing Mary Kay again, just on the side, because I love the stuff. I need more time to actually do anything with it though. It's a bit frustrating really.

On top of all that I try to keep my house clean and am learning to throw things away. I'm getting better! (check out flylady.net ... it's totally saved my life). As well as spending time with my wonderful hubby. I am so happy it's spring and I can be outside again! Oh- I got released from Young Women's last sunday. It totally broke my heart: I couldn't stop crying all day! But then I got on a rebellious streak and now I have a second piercing in one of my ears, lol. I can do something rebellious occasionally, right? Maybe it's just because I want to feel in control of something. It really has been a hard few months. But I like my little earring, I think it's cute. I can take it out eventually. Although my niece's reactions were quite hilarious. I'm a way bad example ;)

More Heartache

And baby #3 decided to leave Sunday morning, Feb. 14th. Almost 10 weeks once again. At least now I qualify as "high risk" and can see a specialist... which hopefully leads to answers and an actual full term pregnancy and beautiful baby. I so thought this was the one.

Photo Blog is FINALLY up and running!

Go check out my photography blog! I finally got it up!

http://pearlphotography.blogspot.com/

And please comment... what do you think? Pictures, blog, etc.

Dude~!

Have I really not posted since MAY! Wow, I'm a slacker! ;)

Umm, what's happened? I'm still loving Icing. Definitely keeps me busy.

I love teaching YW's now. It used to stress me out, but I think I'm having more fun w/ my lessons (Mr. Clean Jesus soap (repentance) (I'll post pics later) and Icecream "sundays" (some things are good the rest of the week, but not on a sundae (i.e. Mustard, tomatoes...), just like some activites should not be done on sunday... lol.)

I had an AWESOME 24th birthday! My husband rocks and spoils me way too much! (No, seriously, I kinda feel guilty by how much money we spent on me! lol) Good food, family and friends, great presents... including!

I just got my CAMERA! Hooray!! :D A Canon 40d. And it is beautiful! (even with it's 130 page manual....) I love it already. Soon to come is my photo blog and website, and probably some requests for models... And if anyone is getting engaged or married PICK ME! Cuz I rock. :) And all these pics I posted (from my little sisters engagements) were with my film camera... just imagine the infinite possibilities of my Digital! Hee hee....