Moving Forward

So the last couple months have flown by. They've been running tests: they drew 16! vials of blood to run them (all at the same time mind you. And I was fasting. My arm was numb when they were done, but at least I didn't faint/throw up as I'm known for doing, lol).

My thyroid looks good, and I haven't heard back on the rest yet. I can tell you how grateful I am I have insurance though. The tests total cost $4000 and it looks like I will only have to pay about $125. :) It probably is just a progesterone definciency, but they want to make sure, and it will be good to know too. They're basically looking for a chromosome disorder or if I have some kind of blood clotting disorder, since I lose the babies around the same time right before the placenta takes over.

Besides that I'm trying to keep myself blissfully busy and distracted which really does help. I went back to work after a week, (it was too quiet and lonely at home and I kept watching movies like "Up" and "Star Trek" that did not help. I would call Nate bawling and he was like, "Why are you watching that!!?". lol, I just didn't think about it.) and it definitely keeps me busy. Drugs helped a lot right at the first, and surprisingly I didn't need them for very long, I was fine after about a week. I think why I had such a hard time coming back last year was because I only had about 2-3 days off and had to be back at work because my manager had a "breakdown" herself and someone had to run the store. Having a bit more time off was immensly helpful. I'm kinda rambling... oops.

I'm also finally getting somewhere with my photography. I did another wedding last month and I have a few family shoots booked. I even have a facebook business page now (Pearl Photography). Check out my blog if you haven't too! (pearlphotography.blogspot.com). Now I need a real website and some smoking hot business cards. Any other suggestions are appreciated. ;) Soon I will have the rest of the stuff on my photo "wishlist" which will be nice. My flash is really starting to bite the dust, and my poor tripod really doesn't do it's job very well.

Also I went to UVU's ballroom concert a couple weeks ago and about cried I miss dancing so much! I keep thinking, "Why in the world did I stop? I could be done by now!" I know why, I wanted kids more, but guess what, I still don't have kids, and I'm still not dancing... SO I think I will do summer team in the mornings for kicks and because I miss performing. I've been doing belly dance as well, which is a lot of fun, but ballroom is my first and true love ;) I'm so excited too because one day I will do these fantastic dance shoots, like I've always wanted to. Oh time, why can I only do so much with you??

And I'm doing Mary Kay again, just on the side, because I love the stuff. I need more time to actually do anything with it though. It's a bit frustrating really.

On top of all that I try to keep my house clean and am learning to throw things away. I'm getting better! (check out flylady.net ... it's totally saved my life). As well as spending time with my wonderful hubby. I am so happy it's spring and I can be outside again! Oh- I got released from Young Women's last sunday. It totally broke my heart: I couldn't stop crying all day! But then I got on a rebellious streak and now I have a second piercing in one of my ears, lol. I can do something rebellious occasionally, right? Maybe it's just because I want to feel in control of something. It really has been a hard few months. But I like my little earring, I think it's cute. I can take it out eventually. Although my niece's reactions were quite hilarious. I'm a way bad example ;)

More Heartache

And baby #3 decided to leave Sunday morning, Feb. 14th. Almost 10 weeks once again. At least now I qualify as "high risk" and can see a specialist... which hopefully leads to answers and an actual full term pregnancy and beautiful baby. I so thought this was the one.

Photo Blog is FINALLY up and running!

Go check out my photography blog! I finally got it up!

http://pearlphotography.blogspot.com/

And please comment... what do you think? Pictures, blog, etc.

Dude~!

Have I really not posted since MAY! Wow, I'm a slacker! ;)

Umm, what's happened? I'm still loving Icing. Definitely keeps me busy.

I love teaching YW's now. It used to stress me out, but I think I'm having more fun w/ my lessons (Mr. Clean Jesus soap (repentance) (I'll post pics later) and Icecream "sundays" (some things are good the rest of the week, but not on a sundae (i.e. Mustard, tomatoes...), just like some activites should not be done on sunday... lol.)

I had an AWESOME 24th birthday! My husband rocks and spoils me way too much! (No, seriously, I kinda feel guilty by how much money we spent on me! lol) Good food, family and friends, great presents... including!

I just got my CAMERA! Hooray!! :D A Canon 40d. And it is beautiful! (even with it's 130 page manual....) I love it already. Soon to come is my photo blog and website, and probably some requests for models... And if anyone is getting engaged or married PICK ME! Cuz I rock. :) And all these pics I posted (from my little sisters engagements) were with my film camera... just imagine the infinite possibilities of my Digital! Hee hee....

So I LOVE it at Icing. :) Seriously, I have so much fun and the time goes by super fast. And I've already spent way too much money there... lol. Nate's birthday was a blast! And we're having a bbq on sat. still, so there's still much partying to come. I really like shopping for him. I just really like shopping.

We started running in the mornings, I actually really enjoy it! I feel much better, and I'm actually waking up. I have really struggled with simply GETTING up, and out of bed for a very long time. I will hit snooze for hours if you let me. (My poor husband...). So I feel very proud of myself that I've been waking up the first time the alarm goes off and sometimes before! This is all thanks to lots of encouragement from my wonderful Nate. I would not have been able to do it without him. I hope I can keep the trend going!


Now I need to get my photography business truly up and running. I'm trying to decide what I want to do for my website. There's nifty flash websites I would love... but I might just keep it as a blog for now until I make a little more money. I also need my new dslr. I only have film and as much as I love film for my artsness stuff, like b/w, it just is not realistic for what I want to do to make money: portraits, weddings, and ballroom coolness, etc. Plus I really want a mac now thanks to my intro to graphic design class.... but they're a little spendy. I just need to make a lot of moolah super fast so I can get everything I want! :D But a camera first... definitely, so I can actually start making $.

Life is a rollin'

Sweet! I survived school! It's amazing! I think I passed everything... I won't know for awhile. :D

Nate is officially gradumatated! And he has some jobs! He's writing podcasts for his brother and he has some good prospects for production companies. I'm super excited!

And I don't know why all that is the wrong color and highlighted, and I can't fix it, so deal. lol.
(it's kinda driving me crazy, personally...)

I also started at Icing yesterday... it will be fun! Completely different, but it will be good. I'm training at Claire's in Fashion Place this week, and next week I'll be in university. It is quite bizarre not being at motherhood, I've been there for so long.

Can I tell you how nice it's been to relax? I took the weekend off, and today I had off as well. I think I'm still catching up on sleep from the whole last semester, cuz seriously, I went to bed at midnight, didn't wake up til after 11, then took a nap again! I was SO lazy, and it felt SO good. I've just been reading, and playing civilization, and watching t.v. and making tacos... just doing whatever the heck I want and it's been amazing.

I finally feel like life is moving forward somewhat and it feels incredible.

Random thoughts

So many things are happening...

School is ALMOST OVER!! I can't believe that there is an end in sight! I just have finals left!

Nate's graduating next week too- hallelujah, it's taken a long time. Hopefully now life will begin to move forward.

Speaking of moving forward... I'm still not pregnant. Now I'm to the point of, I don't care right now and I'm not going to worry about it if it doesn't happen for awhile... I can worry in a few years if it doesn't. Maybe we just aren't ready to have a baby and God is like, you really want one, huh? Well I don't think so! You can't feed yourselves! And he's probably just laughing at us trying. Oh well. I'm sure it will happen eventually.

I really really really miss ballroom now. :( If I don't get prego I think I'll try to get on the summer team. That would be fun!

I'm changing jobs! Well, I'm still sticking w/ the hood part time somewhat, just cuz I love so many of the people there! It's really hard to leave for so many reasons, and really easy for a few... ah well. I'm going to Icing in the Orem mall. We'll see if I like it. I really hope I do, but if not I guess there's always somewhere else.

Can I tell you how great it is that it's WARM! It makes me so happy! I don't dread waking up anymore! But I do wonder if I've got some kind of issue, I have no energy,... maybe that will change when I'm less stressed, who knows?